Dudley Time Portal

Items tagged: Funny
It's funny how the street is jammed with parked cars @ 5:30pm - 211110 1730 Funny.png
It's funny how the street is jammed with parked cars @ 5:30pm
Text Cloudy 10C Dark Funny Stories Vehicle Pattern Traffic Transport
Pile of bird seed on pavement makes me smile as I know there are signs near here saying don't feed the birds - 211110 1730 Funny.png
Pile of bird seed on pavement makes me smile as I know there are signs near here saying don't feed the birds
Text Cloudy 10C Dark Funny Creatures Control Food Actions People Care Stories Emotion
What's £5? The Pavement? - 211007 1500 Waste 13.png
What's £5? The Pavement?
Drawing Text Overcast Waste Material Care Connection Colour Stories Numbers Funny Curiosity
Provision.docx
Provision I invite you to stand in my shoes In the space between dark and light To imagine a room laid bare Where you sleep in the bath In the clothes you wear every day Because you don’t have a bed or Even a mattress on the floor To rest your tired frame. You are in crisis Slipped through the cracks It doesn’t matter how or why Just that you are here Needing help Needing compassion Practical support To get back on your feet To feel cared for Provided for Prayers answered. I sit here listening to Blur On the CD player I have just bought from Provision House A beacon-topped Aladdin’s cave of treasures That occupies a space right opposite It’s higher calling Old Co-op Old shoe shop New lease of life For this art-deco giant Three floors of stepping back in time Down history rich stairs Through formica inlaid doors Its belly stuffed with Furniture and bedding Tables and lamps Wardrobes and kitchenware The things that we take for granted Destined for those that have nothing Absolutely nothing A lifeline. In the shop I can still buy a pair of shoes Anything an old department store may well have stocked Ironic I feel. They save the sleeping bags To hand to homeless folk Health-packs and new socks Whatever helps. The Food Club caters for those That need to feed themselves Their families On budgets stretched to breaking They mind the gap that governments should fill By remembering that everybody counts Black Country rules. Kim chats to a woman Buying sticker-books for her granddaughter Laughter slips through this conversation Two books for a pound and you know The girl will have a fun filled afternoon. I ask about the future Plans for expansion Rooms to hire Office space Training programmes on their way Perhaps a life for the room upstairs and I see progress New from old Right from wrong. So, step through this door and lend a hand To those that need it more than You and I will ever understand.
Poem Connection Conversation Gift Light Imagination Invitations Shelter Care Sounds Old New Architecture Big Things Past Memory Consumption Kindness Food Funny Future Change
Bake 'n' Butty.docx
Bake ‘n’ Butty Fairy lights all year round Three clocks working triple time More seating at the rear and Above the sound of something frying in a pan Laughter The scrape of cutlery on finished plates Stacked and cleared Two cappuccinos Two toasted teacakes Footsteps on the lino floor The hum of radio from somewhere The clash of a saucepan lid Tea, milk, two sugars The tapping of a spoon on a plastic bowl Fishfinger sandwich to take away Do you need a receipt? It won’t be long, alright? Chips sizzling in the deep fat Steam escaping the coffee machine There’s your knife and fork Musical buttons singing from the till No sugar, I’m sweet enough A message left on the answering machine Phone rings How can I help you? Mobile notification Chatter Printing There’s your change I’ll bring your coffee over Sausage, egg and chips Large breakfast, no beans Two lattes Milk delivery Grated cheese in a bag Butter balanced in the crock of an arm Is there enough money in the till? Bacon and egg sandwich to go Cappuccino Cheers love It was lovely, thank you All this is seen and heard as I am joined at my table To talk through Covid Cars Past lives Old homes Acceptance Cooking Gender Pubs Health and Putting the world back together My tea is done I pop my mug back on the counter All this for the prices of a cuppa I think Stepping out past the flashing fairy lights
Poem Connection Conversation Gift Light Sounds Funny Food Interacting Consumption Happiness Vehicle Past Old Homes Health Stillness
Davo Turkish Hairstyles - Laughs, ginger beer, smiles - 210715 1600 Happiness.png
Davo Turkish Hairstyles - Laughs, ginger beer, smiles
Text Sunny Slight breeze Happiness Community Connection Conversation Emotion Expression Friendliness Funny Interacting Joy Sounds Lingering Life People
The population of Dudley in 2021 is circ. 80,000 and including the wider borough totals 313,000.

For one person on the average diet, roughly 2.6 Hectares of farm land is required. A family of four, just over 10 Hectares. A population of 313,000 required 813,800 Hectares, the equivalent of 1,162 football fields or 707,652,174 car parking bays.

FEEDING DUDLEY REQUIRES 1,162 FOOTBALL FIELDS OF FARM LAND

Thesis Concept Image - The Farm House

Taking a fun and more literal approach for providing local food production onto the high street, I looked at layering a farm growing different fruits, vegetables and meat products into the same structure to view the absurdity of growing, processing and packaging within a single structure. Ultimately the project would be as close to being a closed system as possible, where food grown could be fed to the animals and the waste from the animals will be used as fertiliser from the food. Air flow and lighting would not only be critical for the animals, but it also allows the fruit and vegetables to grow faster and more efficiently.

The processes within the Farm House would be very energy intense due to the amount of heating, water and lighting that will be required to house the animals and grow the crops. The project utilises conventional farming methods, ploughing, seeding etc., but without the harmful pesticides that would be usually applied. The farming problem of space efficiency is partially targeted in this proposal. Per m2 in plan does contain a greater yield due to the floor layering, however per m2 of gross internal floor area the yield efficiency remains. To ultimately increase overall yield per m2 aeroponics should be applied to massively increase yield and decrease water consumption.

THESIS PROPOSAL

The redevelopment of the high street is a re-envisaged perception of what the high street is and what it will become. A future look at what the high street will become, with mixed use residential and food growth structure to create dense living accommodation and localised food growth which prevents the need to contribute to deforestation and loss of biodiversity from urbanisation.

As part of the schemes wider aims, the high street and surrounding roads will become part of a network of green corridors, where pedestrian footfall/cycling can increase and the use of polluting vehicles will be greatly reduced. The idea of greatly increasing the density of vegetation along roads and reducing lanes will not only improve the rate of absorbing carbon dioxide, but also reduce noise and reduce temperature spots. The Miyawaki planted method would be used where ever possible to create dense areas of trees and shrubs, as well as quickly create new living conditions for new biodiversity.

The primary focus for the building will be the localised food growth in the vertical farms, several floors of food growth will create a new economy centred around the high street, removing the need to import fresh food from farms from across the country or on the other side of the world. The environment within the farms will be climate controlled, allowing the farms to adjust their climate to the optimum for the specific food. The density at which food can be grown in is almost 400 times greater than conventional farming, which greatly reduces the need to create new farms.

The residential aspects pairs with the farm, in bringing a new generation of people to live above the high street. The new vision of the high street would become an attraction point for people to not only visit but to live in as well. Access to land converted from roads and paving to nature will create value and attraction to the area once again. Eventually the low income stores will transition to stores that cater to the new environment.

This project targets all the XR themes directly or indirectly.
Air & Biodiversity - Creating new and preventing the loss of woodland and habitats.
Food - Growing food local and a much greater yield.
Water - Greatly reducing the resource requirement during farming.
Materiality - Managing sustainable usage of the deconstructed buildings and sourcing of the proposed. 
Community - Creating new environments for communities to interact with each other. - Matthew Hewitt Thesis Concept.png
The population of Dudley in 2021 is circ. 80,000 and including the wider borough totals 313,000. For one person on the average diet, roughly 2.6 Hectares of farm land is required. A family of four, just over 10 Hectares. A population of 313,000 required 813,800 Hectares, the equivalent of 1,162 football fields or 707,652,174 car parking bays. FEEDING DUDLEY REQUIRES 1,162 FOOTBALL FIELDS OF FARM LAND Thesis Concept Image - The Farm House Taking a fun and more literal approach for providing local food production onto the high street, I looked at layering a farm growing different fruits, vegetables and meat products into the same structure to view the absurdity of growing, processing and packaging within a single structure. Ultimately the project would be as close to being a closed system as possible, where food grown could be fed to the animals and the waste from the animals will be used as fertiliser from the food. Air flow and lighting would not only be critical for the animals, but it also allows the fruit and vegetables to grow faster and more efficiently. The processes within the Farm House would be very energy intense due to the amount of heating, water and lighting that will be required to house the animals and grow the crops. The project utilises conventional farming methods, ploughing, seeding etc., but without the harmful pesticides that would be usually applied. The farming problem of space efficiency is partially targeted in this proposal. Per m2 in plan does contain a greater yield due to the floor layering, however per m2 of gross internal floor area the yield efficiency remains. To ultimately increase overall yield per m2 aeroponics should be applied to massively increase yield and decrease water consumption. THESIS PROPOSAL The redevelopment of the high street is a re-envisaged perception of what the high street is and what it will become. A future look at what the high street will become, with mixed use residential and food growth structure to create dense living accommodation and localised food growth which prevents the need to contribute to deforestation and loss of biodiversity from urbanisation. As part of the schemes wider aims, the high street and surrounding roads will become part of a network of green corridors, where pedestrian footfall/cycling can increase and the use of polluting vehicles will be greatly reduced. The idea of greatly increasing the density of vegetation along roads and reducing lanes will not only improve the rate of absorbing carbon dioxide, but also reduce noise and reduce temperature spots. The Miyawaki planted method would be used where ever possible to create dense areas of trees and shrubs, as well as quickly create new living conditions for new biodiversity. The primary focus for the building will be the localised food growth in the vertical farms, several floors of food growth will create a new economy centred around the high street, removing the need to import fresh food from farms from across the country or on the other side of the world. The environment within the farms will be climate controlled, allowing the farms to adjust their climate to the optimum for the specific food. The density at which food can be grown in is almost 400 times greater than conventional farming, which greatly reduces the need to create new farms. The residential aspects pairs with the farm, in bringing a new generation of people to live above the high street. The new vision of the high street would become an attraction point for people to not only visit but to live in as well. Access to land converted from roads and paving to nature will create value and attraction to the area once again. Eventually the low income stores will transition to stores that cater to the new environment. This project targets all the XR themes directly or indirectly. Air & Biodiversity - Creating new and preventing the loss of woodland and habitats. Food - Growing food local and a much greater yield. Water - Greatly reducing the resource requirement during farming. Materiality - Managing sustainable usage of the deconstructed buildings and sourcing of the proposed. Community - Creating new environments for communities to interact with each other.
Drawing Imagining Diagram Architecture Funny Food Layer Growing System Air Light Creatures Energy Water Consumption Imagination Nature Transport Moving Pollution Biodiversity Material Community
Funny logo vinyl on window for Caspian Pizza - 211110 1730 Funny.png
Funny logo vinyl on window for Caspian Pizza
Text Cloudy 10C Dark Funny
A random yellow (!) traffic cone on the pavement - 211110 1730 Funny.png
A random yellow (!) traffic cone on the pavement
Text Cloudy 10C Dark Funny Colour Traffic Unfamiliar Surprise
Shrewsbury Arms mates outside laughing. Work, play after. - 210715 1600 Happiness.png
Shrewsbury Arms mates outside laughing. Work, play after.
Text Sunny Slight breeze Happiness Emotion Community Connection Expression Friendliness Funny Interacting Joy Life Play People Stories
Adverts on lit, scrolling billboard - I find them rather cheesy. Consumption is cheesy! - 211110 1730 Funny.png
Adverts on lit, scrolling billboard - I find them rather cheesy. Consumption is cheesy!
Text Cloudy 10C Dark Funny Stories Light Consumption Emotion
A day out in Dudley
Time inside passes slow,
So we went out for the day,
My favourite place to go,
The high street in Dudley

I'm sure that you'd agree
It's not like any other town,
There is lots to do and see
And there's space to run around

There's a playground there
Just in the middle of the street
And fruit growing everywhere
The strawberries taste so sweet

There's lots of places for grown-ups
Where they like to chat and sit
They say 'hello ya right bab?'
And then Tarra a bit.

There is no need to in
When it's black over bill's mother
Because should the rain begin
The canopy is the perfect cover

The grown-ups pick the veggies
And call come get some grub
We jump down from our climbing trees
And head over to the food hub

We get the buz back home for tea
And get it down our wazzin
I look back on the day with glee
My Dudley town is bostin.  - 1_lR0vzbG74UXCjHggkLA9Xg.png
A day out in Dudley Time inside passes slow, So we went out for the day, My favourite place to go, The high street in Dudley I'm sure that you'd agree It's not like any other town, There is lots to do and see And there's space to run around There's a playground there Just in the middle of the street And fruit growing everywhere The strawberries taste so sweet There's lots of places for grown-ups Where they like to chat and sit They say 'hello ya right bab?' And then Tarra a bit. There is no need to in When it's black over bill's mother Because should the rain begin The canopy is the perfect cover The grown-ups pick the veggies And call come get some grub We jump down from our climbing trees And head over to the food hub We get the buz back home for tea And get it down our wazzin I look back on the day with glee My Dudley town is bostin.
Collage Poem Story Text Imagining Abundance Actions Care Community Connection Conversation Culture Emotion Expression Familiar Favourite Things Food Friendliness Funny Future Gift Growing Happiness Imagination Interacting Invitations Joy Kindness Life Moving Nature People Plantlife Play Potential Relaxing Safety Shelter Speeds Stories Taste Voice Words